Feb 03 2009
Mother is Not a Four Letter Word
Home schools are most often run by mothers, but unfortunately, society’s view of mothers in general has deteriorated along with the American family. Thanks to the invasion of government control over the family in the form of entitlement programs and child support, as well as the handful of women that are supported by the system, the image of mothers has gone from that of gentle nurturer, to gold digging whore.
When I used to work outside the home, I was appalled at the women that I worked with, and their attitudes towards the fathers of their children. Many of them had several children with different fathers, and were literally using their children as investments. They were able to use those children to supplement their incomes in the form of food stamps, medicaid, afdc, free day care services and court mandated monthly child support payments. At income tax time, they were treated to any income tax refund that the fathers would normally have received, plus their own, and would curse the new wives of the fathers if they managed to get to keep half of the refund which is the case in a community property state. Even though the constitution makes it clear that there is to be no imprisonment of debtors, fathers who fall behind with their child support payments are arrested, creating a viscious cycle considering that those who sit in jail can’t work to pay for anything, causing them to fall even further behind.
Don’t get me wrong, I know some women who are very deserving of the benefits that they receive on behalf of their children, but they are the mothers who have been abused, abandoned, ill, or their husbands have passed on. The women that I speak of, and that I have known personally, are not helpless, fragile women, but rather enjoy having sexual relationships without the commitment of marriage, and know that any real consequences are going to be given to the fathers of their children.
Another reason that mothers in America have gained such a poor image is that we have made it very simple for women to have complete control over the size of their families. This sounds like a good deal at first, until you consider that if a woman who likes to give her “favors” away gets pregnant, she is allowed to decide to keep her baby, have it adopted by another family, have an abortion, or throw it in the dumpster (which seems to be the latest unhappy trend), and the father just has to deal with whatever she decides.
If that doesn’t curl your toe nails, then you should research the case in Texas about the raid on the ranch that was practicing polygamy in San Angelo, Texas. Those women tried to present themselves as sweet, innocent little women that loved God and loved their husbands, and saw nothing wrong with handing their little girls over to 50 year old men. They were home schoolers that were home schooling only so that they could have complete control over their children, rather than so that they could provide their children with a quality education. In fact, it is my understanding that only the boys were being educated, because the sole purpose in life that the girls had was to grow up to be the personal love slaves and baby makers for the men that they would marry. The ranch that they lived on seemed almost big enough to be a little town in itself. How did they build such a place when there were so many people to feed? The women were all receiving government benefits for each of the children that they produced. Even if the women really were being brainwashed into living the life that they were living, somebody in charge of that establishment figured out how to turn something as wonderful as motherhood and family life into a big business.
The women that I describe are not mothers and should not be called mothers. They are business owners. They own their children, and are able to profit heavily from them. Fathers are treated as nothing more than sperm donors, and the women that live more traditional lifestyles are often lumped into the same category as the women mentioned above, because the gold diggers are what we hear about the most.
It is time that we take back our right to be wives and mothers. It is time that we stop trying to whitewash our words so as not to offend anyone. If you fit into the above category, then you have a chance to redeem yourself. Get back to work, get back to school, and make a life that you and your children can be proud of. Most of all, stop treating the fathers of your children like sperm donors. If they aren’t good men, then do what you can to protect your family. If the only thing that they did wrong was get you pregnant, then give your children a chance to know their fathers. I personally was born to such a mother, and have never, to this day even seen a picture of my own father. If, on the other hand, you are a married mama who is trying to make a nice family life for your children, then I urge you to get out in the community and stop hiding behind the kitchen sink. You deserve respect and deserve to take back your place in society as wife and mother. If you are having difficulties financially, and are denied benefits such as food stamps, then please write to your local and state representatives and tell them that you are tired of being denied assistance while they reward other women for bad behavior. Why should a women that likes to “party” have more rights to government funding than a woman who is doing the best that she can to keep her family whole? Why should a married mama have to work two jobs to support her family when a mother who has never been married can work at her leisure, and keep collecting child support and other forms of assistance?
Because married women are not treated fairly in regards to government assistance it is also time to realize that we should not rely on the government to care for our families but should start helping each other. If you know how to do something such as sewing, gardening, or baking, then figure out how to turn your craft into a business, or find other mothers who are willing to exchange and barter services with you. For example, if you are good at making blankets, but not very good at gardening, maybe you can trade blankets for vegetables with another mother who is a good gardener. If you are a great baker, but a terrible cook, maybe you can trade baked goods for casseroles with somebody. I have one married mama friend that makes the most beautiful hair accessories that anybody has ever seen. Despite continuous urges from myself and other friends to turn her craft into a business, she prefers to teach the rest of us how to make them ourselves, even sharing her materials and kitchen table so that we can try to get as good at bow making as she is. This is a very selfless act on her part, but it is the kind of help in empowering other mothers that I am speaking of.
If you are a home schooling mother, and have been home schooling for a while, then you might consider helping newer home schooling mothers so that they, too, can stay home, work from home, home educate, and feel like they are a necessary contribution to their families, not falling into the depression that befalls so many house wives when they start to compare themselves to the shining images of the gold digging mamas that seem to be setting the standard for what a modern mother should be.
When I worked at the local nursing home, I was always fascinated by stories of the older mothers and grandmothers who were married for as much as 60 years, raising children through the Great Depression as well as World War II, and they didn’t have things like food stamps to keep them afloat. Even in their 80’s, these were much tougher women than you often see today. We can be tough like that, too, if we get back to the business of raising families, and turn the spotlight off of the women that are raising families as a business.
There are exceptions to everything, and I know that I will be inundated with arguments from women that would like to stay on their Single-Mom-By-Choice pedestal, but I have heard the arguments, I have done the research, and I have quite a lot of personal experience behind this commentary. Mother is not a four letter word, and the time has come that we should not only start supporting each other, but also start empowering women in general so that they can appreciate the families that God has given them.
Have a Great Day!
Laurel Santiago
